Today has been an emotional day, believe it or not I have cried very little in the past couple months. Which is surprising because normally I can be somewhat emotional. I guess I was saving it all up for a day like today. Hopefully I can get all the tears out today so I can move on with life and enjoy the next 7 weeks I have with Gracie before the baby comes. Several things have brought on the emotion, but if I had to pinpoint the most touchy place in my heart it would be a fear of not being able to pick up Gracie for a while after I have this baby. Don't get me wrong I am very excited to have another spirit brought into our family, but the timing of it all is a bit overwhelming at times. For the first month and half of Gracie's battle with leukemia I totally omitted the thought of how I would handle things once the baby got here. Why? Because it was the only way I could get through each day. Now things have improved with her and I'm anticipating round two of awful coming in September for Gracie as well as a baby that seems to think there is no end to growth. He measured three weeks ahead on the ultrasound today in his head as well as his stomach. Their estimated weight for him was 5 lbs 14 oz and they don't want to change my due date because he was only 1 day ahead at my 12 week ultrasound and 8 days at my 20 week. Which if we do the math here momentarily...the Dr helped me with it so hopefully it's accurate :) If I actually had the baby on my due date...August 13 and he continues to grow at the rate he has he would weigh about 10 lbs! Maybe there are some hero mom's out there that don't think that's big, but count me out of that title because Gracie's 8 lbs 10 oz and large head was enough to keep me plenty sore for about 8 months.
The good news...he is no longer breach. Which leaves me the decision of choosing whether I want to risk tearing like I did last time or opting for a c-section. To be honest I don't love either option, but recognize I have to get him out one way or another. I have another ultrasound in 4 weeks so I'll probably wait and see how things look then.
Other good news...I successfully left Gracie with someone other than family for a few hours to go to my appt and she did well and I think I handled it pretty well to. I no longer look for ways to get a few hours away from her I just don't like leaving her at all. Luckily I had a friend that took fabulous care of her come over and she was even sound asleep on the couch when I got home.
Oh and some more good news...I got Gracie's sedation changed on July 5 from 2:30 pm to 10:30 am!! YAY!! It's much better for her fasting to not be during so many daylight hours. Holidays have been a bit of a hassle with her sedations. She seems to always need one right when the holiday comes around and the anesthesiologists have all taken a long weekend. So we're grateful to have snuck into an earlier spot for her sake on this one.
Hey- I found your blog from a link on the Pendeltons. Just wanted to drop a quick line and wish you well. I just wanted to let you know that there is light at the end of the tunnel- even though it seems like an eternity away. I actually just finished a 27 month treatment protocol for ALL as well.
ReplyDeleteYour little girl is a champ!
Best wishes.
I read something tonight that made me think of you and all your little family is going through. It's from a talk by Richard G. Scott titled "Trust in the Lord." He said: "Just when all seems to be going right, challenges often come in multiple doses applied simultaneously. When those trials are not consequences of your disobedience, they are evidence that the Lord feels you are prepared to grow more. He therefore gives you experiences that stimulate growth, understanding and compassion, which polish you for your everlasting benefit. To get you from where you are to where He wants you to be requires a lot of stretching, and that generally entails discomfort and pain."
ReplyDeleteFrom one who had 2 C-sections 18 months apart, don't worry too much about Gracie. It will work out better than you think. Love you guys!
You do not look like you are ready to deliver at anytime, you just have finally popped out (dang you long torso people)! I'm glad to hear Gracie is doing better and you are able to handle daily life VERY well. We continue to pray for you mulitple times a day.
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