quick hospital update

so here we are in the hosp our stay began friday at 1230 am my anxiety began when her anc unexpectedly came back low 360 at the new clinic tues and we stopped chemo.  after which i bagged all trips to the store and only let the kids play at home and outside. despite that i knew thursday as boredom took us on a long exploratory walk in our new town as we hit a crowd still not sure what the event was but i immediately turned around for some reason i felt gracies forehead and it felt hotter than normal i was prob 1.5 milrs downhill away from home and had just told a friend how tired i was. hah so here kicks in the crazy adrenaline scared for my daughters life cancer mom in me as i ran uphill  really uphill not mildly home pushing 70 lbs. i stopped a couple times for fussy kids and to check on her always kicking my self for not having a thermometer in my bag. got home 98.6 normal but high for her norm. felt slightly crazy but my intuition told me something was off and my nerves felt it. i kept checking it went up to 99 then 99.6 then half hour after we lay down  about 1230 she wakes up miserable crying and we fight to get a temp of 100.7. BOO our awesome amazing 15 month fever free streak is up its off to the hospital. the night  was MISERY as i try to remember everything to have them do and not do while trying to comfort her. no dont take a rectal temp. yes we want to access her port not try a vein. no no tylenol. why dont we have an antibiotic. insert waiting crying two chest xrays awful catheter for urine sample after a major screaming port access and highly traumatized gracie who just hours b4 we had bathed with her shirt on bc she did not want her port exposed to anyone or anything cant blame her. here comes the swab shoved way up there then another the gag her in the throat. mommy i not want to be brave. im thinking i know honey me neither but i try to smile for her since she always tells me mommy dont cry or dont be sad be happy with a huge smile. we made it through the night she fell asleep after 5 am when we got to our room. her counts had dropped anc 88 definately admitted dr w called it profound neutropenia. next day we hoped it would be up. every morninr since its been 0. they want it showing a trend of increasing prob 200 at least before we leave could be tomorrow fingers crossed or several days to a week just a waiting game. fever is gone thank heavens shes had iv antibiotics every 6 hours since admit. hard to get her to eat and drink. shes getting bored and antsy of course cant leave her room.  cant blame her a bit. she keeps her port covered at all times with her blanket and say no touch my owie and machine is persons not mine cause it keeps beeping and they come fix it but i tell her they are just fixing the machine not touching her. she finds time to smile and laugh and always greets us with a smile when we show up and a hi mom hi dad or hi buddy. love her. love tyson. love todd hes spent the last three nights here with her. my parents and julie came out feiday and have been very helpful glad to know tyson is in good hands but i miss him. he popped his fifth tooth and his sixth is on its way. its almost his birthday. i cant  believe weve all almost survived this year and how big he is. heard from a few members in the ward/church we go to and they sound like they will be a great support its a comfort and look forward to meeting and getting to know them. hoping her anc goes up for those who dont know its the absolute neutrophil counts and neutrophils are the white blood cell that fight bacterial infections. hers are a bit fat 0 meaning not a single one to fight if she gets a bacterial infection. scary and stressful for us to see them so low. i dream of some normalcy for her and all of us going to the store the park playing with friends without worrying so much or wondering what her counts are and if she touched her face each second. shes a trooper hope she can go home soon and resume our cancer "norm" with higher counts and just being home. add her to your prayers if you will we know Heavenly Father hears each prayer and gives angels to watch over these kiddos.

BIG ANNOUNCEMENT!

No I'm not pregnant and thank the high heavens for now:)  Todd passed the NAPLEX and that is big news, but it feels even bigger than I ever thought it would!  I got the letter in the mail today...of course he's at work so I called and told him!  But after I didn't expect the HUGE wave of emotion that came over me.  It's real.  Is it real?  It is real!  He graduated with his PharmD, he passed the Naplex and soon I'm sure he will have passed the law test and be a licensed pharmacist.  They say the harder you work for something the more it means, I don't think we could have worked any harder than we have and I guess I'm feeling that right now.  This last year and a half especially have been bitterly hard, and I thought things would be oh so much easier when we got down here but every day has been a test of my strength as I've tried to keep things under control so he could work and study, study more and go away to take tests as the kids and I sit in this hot, unorganized and dirty house which is now mostly clean:)  I can't believe the obstacles that have been ours from the start of this journey.  Todd has been in school spring, summer, fall, winter since the day I met him. I can hardly make a list of the things that have tested our stamina and endurance, but today the only thing that matters is that we perservered and we suceeded.  I am so incredibly proud of him.  The endless days of studying and frustrating rotations as he worried like crazy about the 3 of us whatever we may be doing whether it was cancer related, pregancy related or just normal every day stuff (imagine that).  He studied and worked at it and even regularly this last 2 weeks held Gracie in one arm as she watched a movie and he studied for hours. 
So proud of him!  So proud of our little family!  Can't wait for him to come home tonight and not study...almost sounds like a dream not reality.  Now if only we can keep the kids from getting injured or something for one day!  Gracie got hit in the lip by the swing last night after his law test and was gushing blood!  Yikes...she still is not loving eating but doing much better today. 
In other news I took the kiddos swimming this week to escape the house/heat and we all enjoyed it even thought it wiped all 3 of us out!  Maybe we'll go again next week! 

We're Here!

Well, we're here!  We've moved, at least our stuff is in boxes all over the place in our new house that I am now trying to clean so I can unpack boxes:)  At least packing and getting out of the other house and unloading the truck is over.  Our new ward was here by 7:45 am and had the truck unloaded in a flash!  Seriously seemed like half hour.  Maybe 45 minutes.  All very friendly and nice.  So I'm sure we'll like it here, but in all honestly I am a little bit homesick tonight (or maybe more than a little) for both Forest Grove and Utah.  I guess I have two homes now...soon to be three.  Right now our new house is a house but soon it will be a home I'm sure and I won't want to leave all the friends I will make here,
The weekend was rough to say the least.  Our kiddos didn't much like all the packing (or rather I should say boredom for them) and cleaning and driving and on and on.  You know whats even better than moving with young kids?  Having to worry about getting the 2 1/2 year old full about an hour before you get to new home because she's already behind on her chemo schedule even though both kids have had it from six plus hours of car(of course including stops).  Sometimes it seems all we're doing is trying to force Gracie to eat so she'll get full so we can not let her eat and force her to eat again 3 hours before bed.  Manageable on a schedule but of course both kids have been way off.  Just over a year and we'll be done with our nightly chemo!  Oh and luck of all luck (I'm sure just my body telling me it's done) I ended up sick last night.  So I'm happily sitting here with a mask to protect my kiddos.  Let's hope they don't get it.  All we need is a trip to the ER with a fever our first week here! 
Anyways hopefully I'll post some pictures in the future of the house as for now it's in no way picture ready!
Here's to a good week!