I have considered going private...and may still...but seems like to much work at the moment. My reasoning being that I share so many feelings that are so personal and so real to me...but maybe not to the readers. Another being I don't even know who reads this...may not be many but hard to share such feelings with the unknown at times. But I just remind myself its really for me and for my family. And most of all for Gracie, maybe she won't want to know as she gets older. Maybe she'll want to forget cancer was part of her life...and most the time I hope it will be just a passing thought in our future...but I hope she, and all of us remember the strength we gained and pay it forward to others who are also in need as we have been. It's been extremely hard for me to face many days knowing we haven't been able to make it on our own. I guess it's a lesson that is good for me to learn, but continues to be hard for me at the end of every day when we are so thread bare worn out and wondering how we'll face another day. When the emotions are so heavy we feel like we can't move for the weight on our shoulders. Daddy and Gracie just got home from getting counts...we'll see what they are. We've been worrying she's trending down...but to everyone else it's just a number. To us it's our life. It's what happens today and tomorrow, it's whether we get to stay home or live another moment in the hospital. It's hearing our daughter cry and knowing by the little morning happenings that she's going to the hospital or clinic. She's so smart it hurts sometimes. Today is another day...counts are taken we'll await the magic "number" that will determine the weeks events. THANK you to the wonderful people that donate time talent and coloring books and crayons and Belle barbies to bring a smile to my angels face and a smile to mine...is anyone else married to man that puts hand sanitizer all over their daughters new crayon box?? haha welcome to my life! That's what you get when you combine cancer and a germaphobe! But a great Daddy to have! He gives his life every day for her and all of us.
You all are always in our prayers!
ReplyDeleteAndrea, I am sorry that we have had to endure things that neither one of us ever expected. I pray for your family and your little Gracie. I am glad I got see her when I came to visit last time.
ReplyDeleteWith lots of love,
Julie
Sorry, same comment as before but I had some typos.
I'm still reading! I know your story is personal, but I want you to know it's helping other people. I can only speak for myself, but your words always have a great impact on me. Thank you for sharing Gracie's story. I think about her all the time. Love and hugs to your whole family.
ReplyDeleteI can't even imagine how hard this journey has been and will continue to be. I really think that Gracie will want to read about this journey someday. You are doing a good thing and you are a great mama.
ReplyDelete