Thoughts for now..

Tomorrow...September 5 is another milestone!!  For both kiddos!  I have SOOO much I'd like to post but haven't seemed to find time to do it.  I want to post a billion pictures of Tyson he is so darn cute!  He will be 13 months tomorrow!  Sometimes I still can't believe he's 1 and now he's a month past!  He's BUSY!  He climbs, he loves to bother his sister (only he doesn't think he's bothering just wants to be with her all the time and do EVERYTHING she does).  He's taken many steps but still not really walking, I'm ready when he is:)  He fell last week and chipped his tooth!  Front tooth of course so he got his first dental visit.  He's not going to be shown up by his Dr crazy sister he'll do a few things before she does.  He beat her to the dentist and I think I'm finally going to brave it and take her end of the month.  She still makes him laugh harder and more than anyone else and I seriously am blown away by how handsome often!  Of course he does look a lot like his Daddy so I guess I shouldn't be too surprised. 
Tomorrow is also a big day for Gracie she will have 10 months of treatment left.  This week I've been thinking a lot about the last 16 months.  I've thought about it in many different aspects.  The last week or two I've felt very upbeat and honestly in awe many times.  In 10 months we will likely be able to say our family has conquered cancer.  Wow.  I mean I never really knew cancer, I didn't empathize like I should have.  I didn't feel I knew anyone very closely that had cancer.  Then one day my little baby did.  And 16 months later she's less than a year from beating cancer.  She will have battled and won cancer before she turns the ripe age of 4.  Seriously?  I'm sure I thought my tonsillectomy at 4 was a bad deal.  Holy smokes what a blessed, nieve child I was.  Thank heavens for every child that gets the blessing of hanging onto that innocence.  I feel so proud of her.  So honored to be her mother.  She's been super defiant and incredibly difficult I may say lately.  But when I take the time I still find my "perfect moments" with her.  She can be so sweet and loving.  She worries about other kids when they have an owie and always offers a bandaid.  She asks hours later about kids who have gone to the dr.  Today we met a mom with two kids at the park.  She showed them her port several times...gotta show your battle wounds right?  The 2 month old had shots after they left and multiple times during the day she mentioned it. "Baby go to Dr" "Her be ok?"  Hurts that is affects her so much, but I can see how much sympathy and compassion she already has and know she will be that way forever blessing so many others who suffer just as she has.  I read through some emails and different things from April 2011.  The day April 28 strikes a special chord and as a looked back and saw April 27, then April 26 an email of some trivial thing...I had never looked it.  I didn't care...that day my life changed forever.  Then I saw April 24 and realized how different my life was.  She was starting to get sick then...but little did I know it was much more than her first ear infection.  I'm sure I will reflect over the years many times on that period in time.  But for today I want to reflect on it more as the beginning of a journey that will take us to the most beautiful mountain peak where we can look back down and there will be other mountains to climb but we will always remain on the top of that mountain and use the pain it took to get to the top to encourage and help and cheer for every other person that crosses our path as they make a similar journey.
Cancer.  It's just a word right?  Not anymore.  It's a life. 
God has greatly blessed us in saving her precious life.  Other's have not been as fortunate.  Far too many.  So tonight my prayer is of great gratitude for the blessings we have received in this incredible battle.  The miracles.  The angels.  The Hand of God.  And my heart has a piece that will forever be reserved for those parents, siblings, family and friends who's angels have been given wings.  And for those who are still fighting, I pray they will win!  And for those who have won,  I pray all your dreams come true.  Far too many children die of cancer.  I need to do more.  I hope we can do so much more in our lifetime.  Of course I do recognize this is not the only "trial or hard thing".  It will always be dear to my heart because it's been ours just as everyone's trials are close to their heart.  Can't help but think of my dear friend Julie.  You are a true  inspiration.  Every step you take, every breath you breathe tells a story of strength.  I can't help but think of the reunion you will have with your perfect angel boys.  I can't think of anything more joyous!  Or anyone that deserves it more!