Clinic last Tuesday

I never seem to be able to post the same day as clinic anymore.  Here's a quick update.
Here stats were approx:
WBC: 3.1
ANC: 600 (scary we hate when it's low the stress level shoots up in a parent when you know your baby can't fight off an infection...it's a very scary time for us.  It was 5700 last week so those awful drugs are doing their job...and it's still dropping so next week may be nothing)
Hemoglobin: 11.5
Platelets: 348,000 (or around there)
Weight: 13.9 kg

She got her 3rd dose of Doxorubicin and another of Vincristine.  Started steroids that night and needed omeprazole, zofran and miralax to counter act the side effects of those nasty drugs.  So we are doing a lot more crushing, mixing and administering drugs these days again.  Can't say I missed it.  We really enjoy not having to prepare and force them into our little girl.  She's not spitting them out though which we're grateful for even though she doesn't like taking them.  We gave her 6 different drugs yesterday and probably the same today.  This weekend she takes an extra one morning and night.  She is losing color in her face more all the time it seems.  We think her hemoglobin is probably dropping and she's getting anemic.  She just doesn't seem to feel well.  The day of clinic she took a 4 hour  nap and this morning she slept in til 10:30 of course woke up many times before that but so tired she just wanted to lay back down.  Her eyes are VERY dark underneath and she's more clingy and wants to be held.  In my mind I imagine this is what many parents think they want their kids to act like other than not feeling good.  Sleep a lot, wanting to rock and cuddle.  I now appreciate very much her getting into things and being a toddler.  I love to watch her run around and see her acting like a normal toddler...what do they call them the terrible twos.  I must say I absolutely love this age and in some ways feel cheated out of gettingt to spend them with her feeling good and not going to clinic and worrying about ANC and fevers and her touching anything at all and then touching her face or putting it in her mouth.   I wish we could have playdates and go out and explore.  But..I also recognize that I wouldn't appreciate those things as much as I would now.  Because they would be normal...I wouldn't know what it would be like for those to not be an option.  So I guess at least it will give me a better perspective for the rest of motherhood.  I suppose if I have to experience it it's better in the beginning so I have this perspective for the rest of my mothering days instead of learning it once  they are mostly grown.  It's going to be a long couple months here...but thankfully things have gone very well overall so far for how many complications we've escaped such as fever and drug side effects.  She is losing more hair of and on but no chunks yet.